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Feb 25

REPORT: State Patty’s Day Alcohol Numbers Down, Sexual Intercourse Up!

[StateCollegeBy the numbers (refined numbers will be reported by State College Police in the coming days):

State College Police 

  • Total calls for service: 327 – down from 412 in 2012 and 460 in 2011
  • Total arrests/citations: 138 – down from 225 in 2012 and 234 in 2011
  • DUI arrests: 4 – down from 14 in 2012 and 14 in 2011
  • Noise violations citation: 18 – down from 24 in 2012 and 34 in 2011
  • Ordinance violations: 7 – down from 15 in 2012 and 22 in 2011

bras

Bras everywhere!

canyon

After sex fun at Canyon

REPORT: While arrests and alcohol-related problems were down, sexual intercourse numbers were up. Many students were forced to drink inside apartments and/or houses, naturally enhancing the desire and ease of sexual intercourse. Officials say we could see an increased number of pregnancies being reported in nine months or so, however many local convenient stores did say that condom sales on Saturday nearly tripled their yearly sales. After further research, we could not conclude how many couples actually used the condoms during these sexual encounters, a story we will continue to monitor.

Ps. In all seriousness, we’re happy to see the number of alcohol-related incidents down.

Pps. A lot of people (including some local businesses) weren’t happy about the strict (“dry”) policies being enforced on Saturday.

Any other stories, pictures, videos of the weekend? Send to theschoolphilly@gmail.com

 

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