[OnwardState] She [Mary Krupa] is a freshman this year, from State College, who is best known for playing with squirrels, while also donning them with tiny-squirrel sized hats. Mary has a love for all animals, however she favors squirrels above all other campus wildlife because they are the friendliest (when they’re hungry).
“It’s kind of a give and take. They’re not going to play with me unless I have food to give them,” said Krupa.
Who knew squirrels drove such a hard bargain?
Mary has always been an animal lover and actually has a parakeet of her own, Smudge. This is not her first bird however, but sadly, Chirpy passed away two years ago. (Feel free to pour one out for the fallen homie this weekend).
Both of her pets have been birds because, as she explained to me, “Birds are kind of my favorite, followed by anything that’s cute and fuzzy.” Who can argue with that!
Shocking—she is from State College.
There is nothing scarier at Penn State than squirrels, seriously. No sarcasm in that statement at all. There is basically no crime at Penn State. You can walk around at 4am, in the heart of downtown, alone, and be happy as can be. Girls walk around drunk and sloppy, four times a week, at all hours of the night, and it’s all fine and dandy at Penn State.
Truthfully, the only time I have ever been frightened walking around PSU is bright daylight when a squirrel crosses my path. Those PSU squirrels are terrifying. They’r wayyyy too friendly for my liking. They lure you in—approaching all gingerly, with big smiles on their squirrel faces, all innocent and shit. And you’re just walking, “oh hi squirrel”, walking, walking, walking, DEAD.
No clue what this girl is thinking though. I actually feel bad for her. This story is like sad and scary at the same time. Someone get her in their THON committee.
Ps. What if she started like a “playing with squirrels” student group at PSU?