NFL Picks Presented by Kate Upton: Week 2

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My GAWD. I thought we were getting ripped off, letting Kate sponsor the post for only $1,000 a month, but I guess it’s a fair deal after seeing this picture. 

Wow, I told you people get killed betting week one. We got murdered. I went 0-4, and combined the six of us went, drum roll please….6-18. Six and eighteen! (3-3 in our locks).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLMl0CLIDLg&feature=player_detailpage#t=38s

That’s football though. Guarantee we all have better weeks, this week. Hopefully you didn’t stop reading yet (at least read for Kate). Or at least read our picks to decide who not to bet, right?

AirPort’s Picks (@And_Porter)

Holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever had a worse week in my life. 0-4? Going 4-0 this week, no other choice.

Jets at Steelers (-6)

Not buying the Jets hoopla. They still stink. Steelers coming off a tough loss, and Lamarr Woodley tweeted that the Steelers won’t go 0-2. I believe him. Steelers by two TD’s here.

Lions (+7) at San Fran

Everybody is going nuts about the 49ers. They’re good, but they ain’t that good. The Lions are a good football team, Calvin is going to play (he practiced on Thursday), and I’ll take the Lions with 7 points against most teams.

Broncos (+3) at Atlanta

I have a similar outlook on the Falcons as I do on the 49ers. I’m not buying into the hoopla just yet. They got to prove it for than week. Denver on the hand, I’m buying. Peyton looked liked Peyton. He gets to play in a dome this week. I’ll take the Broncos and the points, in a upset.

Lock

Browns at Bengals (-7)

The only team I watched more closely than the Eagles on Sunday, was the Browns, and boy are they bad. Weeden is God awful and the Bengals are coming off a disappointing loss against the Ravens. Bengals offense is underrated, the Browns won’t be able to stop the Law Firm, and Dalton won’t throw four picks (they won’t throw 56 times either). Bengals eassyyy, like 28-13 or something like that.

Scott’s (formerly known as Wayne Kretzky which was dumb) Picks (@Skret16)

That’s gotta be the worst head-shot of all-time, right?

Ok, so last week didn’t go so well. It went so bad in fact, that I had convinced myself on Monday that I would quit gambling. That lasted until about Wednesday afternoon, which is a pretty impressive amount of time for me. So without further ado, my week 2 picks!

Colts +1.5 vs Vikings

I’m not gonna be that guy that completely overreacts to week one. Just not my style. With that, I predicted the Colts would be a surprise team this year that would sneak into playoff contention. I’m going to stick with that and take them at home getting points. Plus, since when is it acceptable for the Vikings to be laying points to anyone on the road? Luck > Ponder. Colts 24 Vikings 17.

Seattle +3 vs Dallas

Dallas played better than everyone thought they would. Seattle played worse than everyone thought they would. I’m thinking this game regresses towards everyones pre week 1 expectations. Also, Russell Wilson is good and they should have won last week (hard hitting analysis, I know). I’m taking the Seahawks OUTRIGHT 27-20.

Raiders -3 vs Dolphins

I think I’m gonna bet against the dolphins every week for the whole year. And maybe my whole life. They are just terrible at playing football. Ryan Tannehill’s wife, I mean Ryan Tannehill is awful. The receivers are attrocious. The defense is bad. And the coaching and organizational merit is just laughable. Raiders by double digits.

Lock

Steelers  -6 vs the Jets

I just know those crappy Jets are gonna be all full of themselves after a week one domination against a (shitty) bills team. I bet right now, the sanchize is sexting some underage broad, cromartie is taking snaps at receiver or doing something dumb in practice, rex is yelling about super bowls and the rest of the team is generally under-preparing for this weeks game. Except Tebow of course Steelers 35, Jets 6

Ahlby’s Picks (@Mahlbs10)

New York Jets vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (-6)

Even Fireman Ed was surprised by Mark Sanchez’s performance last week but who are we kidding? They’re playing the Steelers after a bad loss on Monday night. Steelers D is going to make Mark Sanchez look like the Sanchez of 2011 and all the Jet fans will be calling for Tebowmania. Big Ben and Co. take care of business on offense and cover the -6 point line.

Kansas City Chiefs +3 at Buffalo Bills

Bills looked absolutely AWFUL last week. I don’t see it getting much better. Look for the Chiefs to use Jamal Charles and Peyton Hillis a lot to run all over a confused Buffalo defense. I’m taking the Chiefs OUTRIGHT.

Baltimore Ravens at Philadelphia Eagles (-3)

Vick looked absolutely terrible last week. It was hard to watch. BUT look for him to bounce back this week and have a big game (as long as Ray Lewis doesn’t knock him out before the first half). Defense will continue to dominate. I’m taking the Eagles with the -3 line.

Lock of the Week

Houston Texans (-7.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

Blaine Gabbert looked decent week 1 and it seems like MJD didn’t skip a beat, but the Texans defense will be too much. Since being under Wade Phillips the Texans have been a top 5 defense. They will take MJD out of the game and force Blaine Gabbert to beat them. Oh, and don’t forget they still have a lethal offense with Arian Foster, Matt Schuab, and a healthy Andre Johnson. Texans cover the -7.5 point line.

Herbstreet’s Picks (@RyanHerber)

Kansas City +3 at. Buffalo

Both teams struggled Week 1. But there is a major difference in losing to the Jets (Buffalo) compared to the Falcons (KC). The Falcon’s offense is going to be incredible this year with Julio Jones being in his second season.  I’m going with Kansas City on the road.

Detroit at San Francisco (-7)

Detroit didn’t look too good last week against a pretty bad Rams team. While on the other hand, the 49ers had an incredible performance on the road against the Packers. I think San Fran travels home and wins by double-digits.

Tampa Bay at New York Giants (-7) 

As much as I don’t want to make this pick I have too. If it weren’t for Victor Cruz dropping 3 key balls the Giants would have beaten the Cowboys. They’re going to come out strong this week against an average Tampa Bay team. I’m going with the Giants at home by double-digits.

Lock of the Week

Oakland -3 at. Miami

The Dolphins are terrible. And Oakland’s a solid team. Run DMC is going to run all over that shitty defense. It’s a joke if they don’t win by double digits.

 (Silent) Squeak’s Picks (@Tepel03_TSP)

Lions +7 at San Fran

Saints -3 at Panthers

Ravens at Eagles (-3)

#BIRDSBOWL13

Lock of the Week

Raiders -3 at Miami

Bronny’s Picks (@Jawn_Brostein)

Shout out to Lindsay Horne

Oakland (-3) over Miami

Miami is awful.  I really like Darren McFadden, and not only because I have him on my fantasy team.  Him being healthy adds a whole new dimension to that offense that is sketchy-talented with Carson Palmer running the show.

Titans (+6) against San Diego

Does anyone else think that San Diego is really overrated and Tennessee is the opposite?  Titans got screwed out of the playoffs last year on a tie-breaker and are going to be hungry after the beating they just took against New England.  New England is going to do that to a lot of teams this year though, so don’t put too much stock in that game for the Titans.

Denver (+3) against Atlanta

Peyton Manning tears apart a secondary decimated by injuries here in a shoot out.  Denver’s defense is just good enough to keep the Matt Ryan – Julio Jones show out of the endzone in the end.

Lock of the Week

2. Washington (-3) over St. Louis

Vegas is really making me think twice about what I saw week 1…. but I think  RG3 follows up his performance week 1 with another stellar outing in week 2.  ‘Skins in a 2 possession game here.

HOME team in CAPS
*Lock of the Week

Most common pick: Oak -3 at Miami

Most common lock: Oak -3 at Miami

Recommendation:  Don’t bet Oakland