Nothing says “Back to Penn State” like a TSP top 10. I know a good amount of you are already living the dream in State College, but for those of you that are still counting down the precious hours before your triumphant return, here are the top 10 things that you still need to accomplish:
10. Start texting girls from school again – Self-explanatory. If you followed our advice, you should have already laid your ground work for this semester during arts fest. If not, then you should probably start listening to TSP more often. And you need to get to work.
9. End Summer Hook-Ups the right way – This is key. You can’t just pull the say-I’ll-text-her-even-though-there’s-no-way-in-hell-that-I’m-texting-that-girl-when-I-get-back-to-being-around-Penn-State-smokes card in this situation. You need to make sure that you end hook-ups so that they can still be capitalized on Penn State’s abnormally long Thanksgiving break. Take time to explain yourself. Be a nice guy. It could come back to pay dividends in the future.
8. Get one last meal - Whether your a fan of mom’s cooking, Pat’s cheesesteaks, Primanti’s sammiches (can’t believe I just typed that), or New York pizza, getting one last meal is an absolute must. The food in State College often doesn’t get it done (especially if you’re at the mercy of a frat chef) unless you’re eating Chipotle, which, if you’re like me, you eat at least 4x per week. Savor it while you can.
7. One Last Baseball game- If you’re a Phillies fan, this is where you can go to think about “what could have been if no one had gotten hurt or if Hunter Pence could do anything with 2 outs or if the bullpen had any sort of ability to pitch or if….(I’ll end here to save myself from frustration)”. If you’re a fan of most of the other teams in TSP nation, you probably have a decent chance at the playoffs. Get drunk in the parking lot (or subway or whatever the hell you do for Yankee games) and have a good time. By mid-December, we’ll all be begging for the opportunity to go to a baseball game again.
6. Make a game plan for syllabus week – Plan which people to have over to pre-game with, which people you actually want to go out with, and which people you want to late-night with. The first week back can be a whirlwind with all the people to see, so going into it with a game plan makes it much easier. You’re inevitably going to piss some people off because you won’t be able to see them, but fuck it, those kids suck anyway.
5. Visit your buddy’s school - This is the first time in my college career (I’ll be a senior this year) that Penn State is going back later than my friends’ schools. I’m always the first one to leave, which is something that I absolutely enjoy. This year, being one of the last people home, makes me realize how much it sucks to be home by yourself. This is the perfect opportunity to go visit your friends schools. Bloomsburg, Kutztown, and West Chester all have extremely good looking girls (especially West Chester… good God). Definitely not a bad play to go visit.
4. Enjoy peace-and-quiet, general cleanliness – This is another one that is especially for those of you living in frat castles. What’s weird is that when you’re at school, you actually get used to how gross your living environment actually is. The first week back is always a shock when you think “holy shit, I actually live in a place this dirty?”. But that feeling goes away… usually after the first week.
3. Procrastinate Packing – Still haven’t started packing. Writing blogs for TSP instead. Packing sucks. Probably won’t start until about 2 this morning. I know there’s a lot of you that are in my same position.
2. One last epic night with the boys – The night of all nights. This is when you do all the shit you’ve talked about doing all summer but haven’t done yet. Swim naked in the ocean? Piss under the bar at the Princeton? Blunt ride listening to classic 80s tracks? The world is your canvass on this night. If it doesn’t take at least 5 minutes to tell the story of the night, you didn’t do it right.
1. Mentally prepare yourself for the best school year you’ll ever have - After the nightmare that was last year at Penn State, this year has to be exponentially better. It just has to be. I can feel it already. BOB is going to have this football team playing at top notch, Dime a Dozens are going to be super dime-y all over this website, the weather is going to stay beautiful, and peace and quiet are going to be back in the Valley (at least more peace than there was last year).
For my fellow Seniors (although I won’t be graduating with you in the spring), now is the time to make memories to last a lifetime. Stay out until the bar closes, go out on week nights when you probably shouldn’t, be with your college friends at all times, and get involved in as many shenanigans as you possibly can this year. Before you know it, TSP will be releasing our end-of-the-year video and we’ll all be in tears talking about how it went by way too fast. Live it up everybody! It’s finally the moment we’ve all been waiting for.