Editor’s Note: This is written by Penn State’s wildest chick, @slut_it_up, giving us the best sex articles and advice from a female’s perspective. Check out her other articles HERE
So my friends and I were talking this weekend about all of the things that guys do that piss us off. This conversation is pretty standard as there’s always something some ass hole did that makes us mad, but then we started talking about a subject that intrigued me. Giving head. It’s an art form to be respected and men should be damn glad that we females will do it for them. That being said, I’d like to give the guys out there some tips so you don’t piss off your girl and end up getting “handies” for the next month.
1. Do: Hold my hair back
I think it’s so sexy when a guy holds your hair back and wants to see your pretty face when you’re going down on him. It’s a major turn on for your lady friend and I mean you can’t see the stage if the curtain hasn’t been opened yet! Do your girl a favor and move her lovely locks out of her way, she’s got work to do.
Don’t: Mess up my hair
I was hooking up with this guy for a while who would start running his fingers through my hair, which was kind of nice, I didn’t hate it, but then shit got WEIRD. He started tousling my hair all over the places and massaging my head, like WTF are you doing? Not only was it creepy he completely ruined my hair for the day… no need to say he was cut from my list.
2. Do: Watch me
If a guy seems at all disinterested the girl he’s with is going to feel vulnerable and inadequate. When a girl is feeling like this there’s no way she’s going to put her all into pleasing you. A girl who wants to put your dick in her mouth deserves your full attention so give the girl what she needs.
Don’t: Lock eyes for an extended period of time
It’s just weird. I mean I don’t want anyone staring me in the eye for more than a minute let alone if I’m in a compromising position with my face in your lap. This is more of a rule for girls seeing as I just told the boys to be watching your woman, so ladies don’t be awkward and make sure you balance out staring in his eyes with slurping up his balls.
3. Do: Lay Back and Relax
Please, make yourself at home. Be comfortable. The purpose of a blowjob is for things to be all about the guy, so take the time to enjoy it. Boys seem to take it for granted that girls are willing to put their shlongs in their mouth. It’s not exactly on the top of every girl’s list so this girl deserves some gratitude. Make sure to be cordial and appreciative, but relish in the fact that this [hopefully not too] brief moment of time is all about you.
Don’t: Fall Asleep
I would hope this is common sense and I don’t even know if it’s physically possible for a guy to fall asleep while getting head, but I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that this has never happened in the history of man kind.
4. Do: Tell me what you want
If something doesn’t feel right or you want your girl to switch things up, TELL HER. We’re not mind readers and although I believe the key to a good blowjob is experimenting with different styles, some girls are probably boring and really bad at it. And like any other skills, performing fellatio requires pointers along the road to success. So give her some grunts, moans, a sigh or two? Anything will do, we love it.
Don’t: Force my head down
This is my biggest pet peeve. I HATE when boys put their hand on the back of your head and force you down. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want so don’t try to push me while I have your most prized possession in between my teeth. It’s rude and unnecessary and nothing makes me want to stop giving a blowjob than when a guy does this.
5. Do: Give me a warning
No one wants a visitor that stops by unannounced. Sweet and simple. Tell her you’re close, give me a grunt, something, ANYTHING. We need to prepare ourselves. Thanks.
Don’t: Go Pompeii on my ass
Explode without warning, get it? 
Okay boys, start following these rules; I want to hear only good reports during sex talks with my friends! Hope these simple tips will help you all to keep fellatio fun and friendly. Til next time, Live it, Love it, Fuck it.
Editor’s Note: This is written by Penn State’s wildest chick, @slut_it_up, giving us the best sex articles and advice from a female’s perspective. Check out her other articles HERE
