21 is the clearly the most important birthday of your life. The night you turn 21, your life changes. You can’t wait to be able to hit the bars. Every PSU undergrad, by the time they are approaching his or her 21st birthday, is sick of the frats, sick of the apartments, sick of the houses. They want the bars. They want to be able to go out and party on any given night of the week, no matter what. They see the long lines at the Den on Saturday’s, G-Man on Tuesday’s, and Indigo on every night. Don’t get me wrong, the bars are great, but they’re definitely over-hyped at Penn State. Since the Mez shut down, Penn State really consists of only one real club, Indigo. Other than that, there is no bar/club where you can go to at Penn State to get your dance on, like you can at Indigo.
Basically, what I decided to do is stereotype some of the top bars at Penn State, by comparing it to a person or environment. After going to the bars for almost two semesters now, you start to see the same patterns at the same places, on the same nights.
In no particular order, here they are:
The Phyrst – You on your 21st birthday
The Phyrst is you on your 21st birthday. It is over-hyped for starters, not as good as you think it is going to be. It is dark, sloppy, over crowded, and smells really bad. Every girl is the hottest girl ever because you’re wasted and have permanent beer goggles. Every song is the best song you have ever heard, and you can’t stop singing. There are people everywhere celebrating, and you don’t know anyone.
Indigo – College kid
Indigo is like the regular college kid. He/She wants to party. They want the best and loudest music, they want the best and cheapest drinks, and they want to be surrounded by the most people at the best party in town every night. That is Indigo.
Wednesday – GoGo Gadget
Thursday- Greek Night
The Den - High School
The Den is interesting. I would compare the Den to your typical high school. Cliquey, loud, and potentially a lot of fun.
The Den usually consists of (1) athletes, (2) the jersey chasers, (3) the kids in the middle who are cool enough to know the football players, but not cool enough to have girls chasing them (like me), and then (4) all the other shmucks. Very similar to high school. Then, you got the big owner guy (Chris) that everyone knows, who all the girls flirt with to try and get free drinks from (kind of like the teacher and the girls are the teacher’s pets if you will). And finally, you have the really hot bartenders (high school cheerleaders).
Gingerbread Man – Greek Life
G-Man has quickly gotten the reputation for the “Greek life” bar at Penn State. Tuesday night is G-Man’s biggest night, and all of the Penn State senior class Greek life is there, and it’s a lot of fun. It really is. However, like a typical frat party, it’s very crowded and tough to maneuver around.
Tuesday- Greek night
The Saloon - The “cool” Uncle
The Saloon is like your uncle who you think is really cool your whole life. He’s 45, he plays in a band, doesn’t have a real job, is single, and loves sports and beer. But then, you grow up and you realize your uncle is a fuckin’ loser. That’s kind of like the Saloon. Every time you are about to go to the Saloon you think it’s going to be fun, but then when you get there, you’re like, why the fuck am I here?
*Exception – Monkey boys are worth going for
Cafe - Your grandparents
The Cafe is the spot where all the recruiters, alumni, and relatives go. It’s quiet, everyone is sitting and eating or drinking, and it’s boring. The band is old school, the music is never fun, and it’s always just eh. And when you go outside, nothing happens. More tables, more sitting. Great conversation, but not enough raging. Fun with a big group of buddies to hang out, but not fun if you want to rage.
*Exception – Good happy hour, great on nice days to hang out outside
Mad Mex – The Ex
Mad Mex is the spot you go to when you don’t know where else to go. Mad Mex is your safety valve, like your Ex. You know what you are getting with Mad Mex. No cover, good beer on tap, and great Mexican food. After you flirted with all the other places (girls), you settle for Mad Mex (your ex). You’re not going to get into Indigo (the really hot girl/guy), so you decide to pay no cover (putting in no work with your ex), and settle for sex with the ex. Boom. It’s easy and comforting. Not a bad night, but not ideal.
Monday - Mad Mex Monday’s ($5 Big Azz Margaritas and $5 all you can eat mini burritos)
Bar Bleu – The rich friend, who tries too hard
Bar Bleu: Hey guys! Wanna come over and watch the game on my big, nice HD TV’s everywhere, and sit on my huge leather couches, and play games in my secret a basement?