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Oct 06

Sex Article in the Collegian Today Getting a Lot of Buzz

[DailyCollegianBy now — my junior year of college — I have seen and been involved in some unusual romantic and even casual circumstances.

Though I am only 20, I feel like I am finally beginning to figure out human physiology… and maybe even relationships. You could say I’ve been around the block a few times, but I’m still experiencing new things every day, especially in Happy Valley, on the weekends.

I love sex.

I love talking about it, I love having it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, male or female, who feels the same way.

Someday, all of us will be having sex — unless you’re still living in your mom’s basement — and it won’t be a big deal.

Maybe you’re having sex right now, while you’re reading this column (lucky you), maybe you had it last night, or maybe you’ve never had it at all, but sex is all around us. Full Article

This is, by far, the most talked about article in the Daily Collegian this year. By far. All it is, is some Penn State chick wrote an opinion article about how she loves sex and how great sex is. Whoopdie-fuckin’-do. If any guy wrote this article it would get zero attention and publicity, because everyone would be thinking “no shit”. Guys loves sex, the sky is blue, and bears shit in the woods. So what?

The Daily Collegian needed her to write this sex thing to create some buzz, because let’s be honest, The Daily Collegian is dying. It’s 2011, and The School Philly is taking over.

The fact that a chick wrote this is big time. Big news, I guess? I think about having sex on the 50-yard line every night. Personally, I don’t give a fuck. But society tells us that girls aren’t “supposed” to be open about their sex lives and liking sex (see #6 in our dime a dozen columns).

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So when a girl publicly admits to “loving sex”, especially a college girl, everyone’s nipples get hard (pun intended).

Girls hate Kristina for being up-front and bold, writing about what they’re already thinking. Girls are calling her a slut and whatever else they’re saying. Guys, on the other hand, are jumping at the bit, trying to find her. They love this. Our buddy Mike Wallz had some fun with this on twitter:

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Creepy.

Some guys think she’s gross, and wouldn’t touch her:

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And that’s society for you.

She’s one of the most infamous, if not the most infamous, student on the Penn State campus now after writing this. I might have to make her a dime, or a do an interview with her, simply because of this dumb sex article she wrote. Kristina and The Collegian obviously just needed some attention in their lives. And, well, they got it.

Ps. Her dad has called The Collegian, threatening to file a law suit against them, claiming that someone has hacked Kristina’s account and wrote the sex article as her. He doesn’t think she wrote the article, and doesn’t think the editor of the paper should have published it.

He’s crazier than her. Maybe I should interview him?

Pps. Leave it to OnwardState to ask her on a DATE! Are they serious? Did they not read the article she wrote? Rookies.

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5 comments

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  1. Phever

    There are DIMES, then there are WHORES. This broad is definitely the latter.

  2. DPDooouughh

    WHATEVER. Great, a 20-year-old woman who loves sex. Good for her! She’s definitely not the only one, but she’s one of the few who isn’t afraid to be up front about it. She’s free to do what she wants and say what she wants, and The Collegian is allowed to publish it. Free speech, free press, free sex from Kristina Helfer for whoever wants it! (Just kidding, JOKE). I say, more power to her. GET IT GIRL!

  3. aREALdime

    This girl is an idiot. Besides the fact that the article is horribly written (by an English major) it’s not even interesting or funny. I’m mad that I wasted my time reading it and continue to waste my time commenting about it but I can’t resist. She’s also in one of my classes and not even worth a second glance. Whoever had sex with her had to have been legally blind AND blacked out. If she becomes a dime I will officially question TSPs judgment.

    1. PhillieSTATE

      AREALdime… why do you say shit like that? what kind of ignorant tacky bitch are you? go live in your “mean girls” fantasy world and continue trying to be the prettiest bitch out there. and get a real life you twat licker.

  4. Blow Me Philly

    Who cares about Philly? Stay in your city and please never leave. People from Philly are dumber, louder, and more ignorant than the cast of Jersey Shore. Seriously, no one cares what you think.

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