As final week concludes, we wanted to put together a little list to allow everyone to reflect on, and appreciate, some of the unique things we come across every day here at Penn State. After three years at this wonderful place, it’s finally starting to hit me. With only one year left, I’m realizing the end is near for me, and it’s a sad thought.
*Special shout out to the graduating class of 2011. Good luck. We Are.
8. The Squirrels
Those fuckin’ squirrels. When you get to Penn State in the fall as a freshman, the weather is nice, and the squirrels are everywhere. They don’t leave you alone. Penn State even did research on different kinds of squirrels! Jumping in and out trash cans, climbing all over the place. To be honest, they scared the shit out of me for years. I hated squirrels. But I have learned to love these little critters that are so energized every day, running and playing, but never causing harm (at least to my knowledge, would love to hear a story of the contrary). A yo PSU squirrels, you guys are alright with me.
7. The Incoming Freshman Tours (“We Are!”)
When you visit Penn State as an incoming freshman and senior in high school, you get a tour from the lion ambassadors, who ever so gracely, walk backwards the entire tour explaining the ins and outs of the campus. The ambassadors tell you that students will yell “We Are” randomly throughout the tour, and you must yell “Penn State” back at them. They say this happens because of the immense pride we have at Penn State, and don’t get me wrong, we do, but this is an ultimate shmuck fest. I mean, to be honest, no one walks around campus yelling “We Are”. That’s absurd. But it’s a hilarious to yell it at incoming freshman, getting the whole tour (including parents) to yell “Penn State” right back. And, I guess it really is good for school spirit.
6. The Willard Preacher
This fuckin’ guy. Having a class in the Willard building is awful. The classrooms suck, the desks suck, and you have to listen to the Willard Preacher every day. The guy rambles on about sex, drinking, and how everything that we do best is bad, and God hates us. Fuck off dude. But then, as I matured as a student at Penn State, I learned to appreciate the preacher. I still totally disagree with every single word that comes out of his mouth, but I can honestly say, I’m glad he does what he does. He is tradition at PSU, someone we can all have a good laugh at every single day.
5. McDonald’s Number Calling
As a freshman, McDonald’s was as cool as a frat party. Hands down Penn State’s best late night spot for food. The atmosphere, the food, the comradery, the scene. It’s just beautiful. But what’s most impressive about it, is the chaos the workers go through giving out food orders. The unorthodox, literally full blown, screaming of the numbers. “FOUR-SIX-TWO! THREE-THREE-FIVE!” It’s insanity. And as a freshman I was like, ‘wow, this is nuts.’
Now, as I am finishing my junior year at Penn State, I want to thank all the workers at McDonald’s that provide us food during the late hours of the night. Our fellow students, that put up with us being drunk, high, and retarded 4 nights a week, and still get us hot and fresh Mickey D’s. Thanks.
Ahh, good old MclanaMAN. Who is this MclanaMAN I speak about you ask? You know, the “lower-class” (don’t wanna say bum or hobo because that’s not nice) man who is always in Jimmy John’s (guarantee he will be sitting in a booth in Jimmy John’s tonight just like in the picture), and hangs out around Mclanahan’s and on the bench by Babies. You gotta love that guy. Would love to hear his story. Hey, MclanaMAN, if you are reading this please send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) to get together for an interview. Would love to speak with you.
3. The Philly/Pitt Rivalry
Coming into my undergraduate career at Penn State I had no problem with Pittsburgh. The Steelers are not a rival of the Eagles at all, and in fact, I kinda liked the Steelers. The Pirates, well, they’re the Pirates. Pittsburgh doesn’t have an NBA team. And yes I hate the Penguins, but respected them. Mario Lemieux, Jaromir Jagr, and (although I can’t stand him) Sidney Crosby are three of the greatest hockey players I will ever get to watch play the game.
As a freshman, it was understood at Penn State, Philly hates Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh hates Philly when it comes to sports, food, music, and pretty much anything. The cities compete over which is better Wawa or Sheetz, cheeseteaks or Primanti Bro (or whatever the right word to call it is), which city has the better sports fans, and now the better rapper Wiz or Meek. I quickly realized this. And I bought into it.
But now, I reverted back to my old ways. I took a step back and realized, I have nothing against Pittsburgh at all. Shit, they are the greatest franchise in the NFL, and there’s no argument. 6 fuckin’ Super Bowls (I’m jealous). The rivalry is awesome for Penn State, and it creates an added buzz and more drinking on campus when both cities have teams in the playoffs. Since my freshman year in 2008, the Steelers have won and lost a Super Bowl, the Phillies have won and lost a World Series, the Flyers have lost a Stanley Cup finals series, and the Penguins have won the Stanley Cup.
I would say Philly and Pittsburgh are two great cities, but Philly sports fans are a little better, cheese steaks shit on Primanti Bro’s, Meek Mill is the man, and I’ll take Wawa over Sheetz any day!
2. The Hub Lawn
Now we’re getting sentimental. How could they? The Hub Lawn was just a lawn where everyone went when it was nice out, and it made the campus look really fuckin’ awesome. Movin’On was always on the Hub Lawn, and students had so much fun doing random shit on the lawn, but I didn’t think anything of it. I never thought it would go away. I never realized how cool it was. But now I do. Now that it is, basically ruined, I am finally realizing how much I loved the Hub Lawn.
1. The Weather
Note to incoming freshman: take advantage of every sunny, hot day you have on campus. There aren’t many. So when you get here in August, and it’s 85 and sunny out, and you have papers and exams and shit, fuck it. Seriously, fuck it. Go drink, go smoke, go play whiffle ball, go have sex, go run around, go walk on college ave, go creep on girls laying out, go talk to MclanaMAN. Go OUTSIDE. When the weather is nice here, you know that Penn State is going hard that day, and you can’t afford to miss it. I promise.
On the flip side, I have started to appreciate the cold weather. The blizzards in January and February, and the rainy cold, sleeting days in March and April have made us men. The weather cannot stop us. Snow, rain, sleet, wind, cold, hail, whatever it is doing, we are still going hard. Obviously God knows that Penn State cannot be a warm weather school, because the world couldn’t handle that shit. Imagine State Patty’s and Halloween in a climate of 75 degrees and sunny. Bahaha. They couldn’t stop us. It would be non-stop mayhem.