Mar 27

Top 10 Most Annoying Facebook Statuses

These are the statuses that make you hate statuses. These are the statuses that you read to your friends when you want to play “guess that status”, then rip the “status writer” a new asshole. These are the statuses that drive you insane. These are the statuses that constantly come up on your feed every single day, and no matter how many people hate them and make fun of them, these statuses keep coming up.  So we decided to compile the 10 most annoying Facebook status into a list for you. So, here are the top 10 most annoying Facebook statuses that won’t go away…


10. Anything relating to, or dealing with, the weather

Ex 1= “Snooowwww!”
Ex 2= “Ugh, it’s pouring outside.”
Ex 3= “Omg. It’s so nice out!”
Ex 4= “I hate thunderstorms L”

Listen, bitch tits, everyone knows what the weather is like. We can all see it for our self. Thanks for the weather report.

9. Anything having to do with an accomplishment

Ex 1= “Just aced that bio exam! Woo!”
Ex 2= “Can’t believe I have an interview with ESPN, wow.”
Ex 3= “Won my IM basketball game tonight. We’re 4-0. Let’s Go!”

Don’t care at all. I just failed my bio exam, don’t have a job, lost my IM basketball game, have no money, and have to maintain a website. Congrats, but we got our own shit to worry about.

8. Anything dealing with the irrelevant shit you just did, or are planning on doing

Ex 1= “Going to work/class.”
Ex 2= “Going to bed, goodnight.”
Ex 3= “Just finished studying for an exam, now I have to take Jenny to the mall, and then dinner with mom-mom J”

Who gives a shit? Literally, tell me who the fuck cares, even a little? The only people that care are Jenny and mom-mom, and even they only care because they are actually participating in the event. And anyone else who tells you they care, comments on the status, or likes the status, is lying. They do NOT give a rats ass about Jenny or your mom-mom.

7. Random veg/opinions enticing you to ask about them

Ex 1= “Boys suck”
Ex 2= “I hate Steve so much right now.”
Ex 3= “I can’t believe what just happened to me!”

Don’t take the bait! Don’t fuckin’ ask! That’s exactly what these people want, so they can tell you how boys are so mean, and Steve is a douche bag, and how they just got hit by a car. But in all honesty, that sad truth is, no one gives a shit.

6. Anything describing you are sick, or how sick you are

Ex 1= “Ugh, this cold won’t go away!”
Ex 2= “I’m always fuckin’ sick! Wtf!”
Ex 3= “This suck. Exam and work tomorrow, but this cold won’t go away!”
Ex 4= “Sick.”

I think when people see these statuses come up on their feed, they should always comment “sorry”. Every time they see this. So when someone makes a status saying how they are sick, every single one of their friends comments on it saying sorry. Isn’t that what they want?

5. Generic lyric to a song

Ex 1= “I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one.”
Ex 2= “It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, ‘bout to have me some fun.”
Ex 3= “I’m doin me.”

Oh, since when did my cousin’s friend from New York turn into Jay-Z. Thanks for the lyric bro! You just ruined the song for all of your 289 friends.

4. When People are trying to find something to do

Ex 1= “What’s going on tonight?”
Ex 2= “Anything going on tonight? Hit me up!”
Ex 3= “Who’s tryin to do something?”

Bahahaha! Really? How low does it get? Oh yea, let me just comment on this random status that says, “Who’s tryin to do something?” and tell this person I’m down to hang out. Better yet, I’ll just message him/her my number and we can hang all night! Just give it up bro. If you are thinking about making a status like this, just chalk it up. It’s a bad fuckin’ night.

3. “__________ssss” (fill blank with your hometown/college generic sports team nickname)

Ex 1= “Eaglesssssss”
Ex 2= “Philliesssssss”
Ex 3= “Flyerrrsssss”

You get the point. But this is my all-time favorite. It always comes from at least one girl during every postseason or big game. You’ll have DeSean Jackson return a punt to beat the Giants in December, and then you have some chick make a status “Eaglesssss” when you just ran around your block naked and can’t breathe. She thinks that “Eaglesss” can explain what just happened. What the fuck does “Eaglessss” mean? What about them? Did you even watch the game?

2. Anything dealing with how drunk you are, how drunk you will get, or how drunk you got

Ex 1= “I’m soooo wasted right now.”
Ex 2= “I can’t wait to go out tonight with the girlies! Bubble gum Smirnoff <3 “
Ex 3= “Out with the bros tonight, getting’ trashed.”
Ex 4= “Last night was insane. Crazy headache right now. Lol”

You drink? You’re in college and you drink? No fuckin’way! Me too! Gosh, getting drunk is so much fun right?

1. “I have the best boyfriend/girlfriend in the world!”

This is the ultimate “shut the fuck up” Facebook status. First of all, if a guy makes this his status he is soft. I don’t care if the girlfriend made you do it, and I don’t even care if she logged into your Facebook and did it for you. Soft. Secondly, bro, I saw the “best girlfriend in the world” that you’re talking about, making out with another dude all night at some bar last night. Yikes.


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  1. Vinny

    You forgot one!

    “Dear ______” (Usually something they could never write a letter to, like their bio report.

    “Please ___________” (Something they would like to happen but probably wont.

    “K thanks bye” (Because they have to be cute)

  2. Smalls

    “I’m so ugly :(”

    “No you’re not ur beautiful!”
    (She just wanted a compliment”

  3. Ryan

    I think you covered every possible type of status on Facebook. So you’re saying they’re all annoying?

  4. Monta

    That’s why you call it social networking, you dumbass.

  5. Jake

    I agree with most of these except #9. Really? Per your own example, someone gets an interview with ESPN and they’re terrible for sharing it? Weak.

  6. Casey

    Except that crap that annoys you is the only purpose of facebook. It serves no purpose other than to stroke our egos and give us a place to talk about ourselves.

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