Dec 21

Top 8 "Bro-Things" to Do While Having Sex

This is a TSP original list, that explains the top 8 “Bro” things to do while having sex. The further down the list you get, the tougher it becomes to accomplish these obstacles. Sex position can be key for many of these tasks.

8. Watch the Game/Sportscenter
This one is the easiest. Look, you can be dead ass sober and accomplish this one. All you gotta do is get your girl over, and put on the game before you go to “work”. Hide the remote right before you start sexual activity in case she had ideas of turning off the game. (Violation for doing this during a playoff game, unless she’s a 10) Boom, done. What’s next?
Bonus: If she shows interest in the game (i.e, “What’s the score?” or “Who’s winning?”) and for changing the channel

7. Have a Beer
Very simple as well. Just have a beer by your bed or couch or whatever, and take a sip while your giving it to her. Nothing she can really do?
Bonus: Get her to take a sip too

6. Eat Something
Take a bite of the burger or slice a pizza you have in your room during sex, or corned beef sandwich like George.
Bonus: Place the food down on her back while doing her from behind

5. Text Your Boy
You just realized that the girl who you are banging is unbelievably hot. Like she’s way too hot for you. This is a good fuckin’ pull for you. You gotta tell your bro’s, so why wait? Hit them up right now!
Bonus: Call them!

4. Take a Picture
You just called your boy and told him you are currently in the process of banging X, who is way out of your league. Naturally, he doesn’t believe you. What to do? Sneak a snap shot with your phone.
Bonus: She let’s you take the picture, and you hop in it too, surprising your buddy even more

3. Steal and Hide Her Panties
When you take her clothes off, throw her panties somewhere. Somewhere far, and somewhere she won’t find them. Eventually, when your done with her, she won’t be able to find her panties, and she will be forced to leave without them. Save them as collector items.
Bonus: Get the bra too

2. Set Your Fantasy Lineup
Ok, it’s not as impossible as you might originally think. The key: you gotta have a good fantasy team, where your lineup is relatively constant week to week. First, must have your computer near your bed, or wherever you two are having sex. Second, must be doing her from behind so she can’t see what you are doing. Third, quick lineup changes. Think quick, think fast, and don’t stop pounding. She’ll never know.
Bonus: Ask her who you should start

1. The Switch-a-roo
Extremely, extremely difficult, but the best can pull it off. Must be with a very annoying girl, who you can almost justify this with (The girl in the picture is way too hot for this, but I couldn’t resist using her in this column).

Ok, what is the switch-a-roo? Do a girl from behind, and do it well, as your friend is hiding in the closet. Lights off. Then, give your bro some kind of signal (i.e, the ear scratch, nose rub, or simple hand gesture). He will come in, and essentially, tag you out, and begin having sex with the same girl himself. Must have a smooth and quick transition, and switch back after a few pumps or so. It will be a generational story told forever, I promise.
Bonus: There is no bonus. Just do it.

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  1. Trevor

    Ok is it bad that I have done almost half this already lol. Those of you who know me already know this is true lol but I do like this list and think the fantasy daft wld b better if u cld put the computer on her back as ur going to pound town lol

    1. nick

      not at all, i got 3 of 8 and thats not counting the eating/drinking ones which seem relatively easy to do

  2. cet

    Eh, the last one qualifies as a type of rape so not really the greatest thing to aspire to don’t you think??

  3. PTC

    The switcheroo is technically rape, and therefore inadvisable.

    1. The School Philly

      haha yeah, we don’t condone raping anybody.

      1. Manny


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